Sunday, 28 December 2014

2015 will be something new.

2015, I won't make silly promises about what I want to achieve and  what I won't do. 2014 was about embracing new things and moving away from bad habits, some I have broken and others I am better at.

I want to take what I have learned this year and combine that with what I want to achieve.

in 2015

I want to.

Lose weight, not a crazy amount but at least a stone and half. I lost nearly a stone last year and I have kept it off but I want to lose more and feel happier in my own skin. It isn't about being skinny, I just am not happy with myself anymore and I want to be stronger and happier.

I want to act on my gut feeling and stop second guessing what I should do.- my instinct almost always is right and I should trust myself more.

To do more things I enjoy.

To start putting myself first once in a while.

to start enjoying my free time more and do more stuff outside with my Husband.

I will

Stop over thinking every stupid detail.
Not bother with those who treat me as an after thought and don't see me how I see them.

To know when to walk away and not feel bad for doing it.

To stand up for myself in a logically and grown up way.

Start saving, stop spending and not need to go shopping for the hell of it.

in 2015 I want to be happier and no-one is going to hand that to me, last year was about laying the foundations for what I wanted, this year was to learn about them. Next year I want to nurture and enjoy them to the full.

I am going to take a leaf out of Lorna at ScaredToast and embrace new things, plan and enjoy experiences. I am going to go to London to see a few exhibits and save up to take a course in sewing. Pass my damned driving test!

I want to make new things and enjoy my time more. I don't want it to be an endless drain of sleep work ect.

I finally have a job I love, even if I find it crazy sometimes but I love it.

I want to look back on the year and be proud of what I have done and I feel like a positive change.

Friday, 5 December 2014


I know its not yet Christmas, (yet!) and that I don't usually share much of my personal self on here.
However I have been thinking about what I have learned this year and how it has been a big change to me.

Last year I went through several life changes withing a few months and I have been enjoying the outcome of those changes. I love my job, its hard and sometimes leaves me mentally worn out but I thrive for it.
I adore my husband and our lovely home he has been tirelessly working on.

I really do skip home every night to be with him and enjoy our home.

Other changes, I have a lovely lady to call Mum, and have seen big changes for my family that make me very happy.

My resolution for this year was to change how I am within myself. I have slowly learned to accept I can't please everyone, nor can I do anything about things that are broken beyond repair.

I have let go of things that have really caused me a great deal of heartache, such as the patchy relations with my Mother. I have learned to accept and let go of the hurt caused and to embrace being happy. Now I can talk to her and not be angry or sad (For me this is a big thing).

I have started standing up for myself and believing in my own abilities and moving away from negative situations and people. Sometime you need to take stock and realise sometimes people or things aren't good for you and you need to move on.

I have come to appreciate how amazing my oldest sister is (but don't tell her this!) she always has been a hero of mine. I learned a lot from her, I am heartbroken about how bad the last 18 months have been for her, however I am beyond proud of her.

I am very proud of my other older sister who has completely changed her life and is on the up! I am again heartbroken for some of the points she has faced but she is braver and stronger.

My niece is crazy adorable and cat and mermaid obsessed, apparently she shares my stubborn streak.

Anyway, I have also learned to enjoy my free time and not feel guilty for doing nothing, and that tidying up is very therapeutic.

It has been hard with being run down and ill constantly at times and going crazy from too much daytime T.V (not good!)

anyway I am off on a tangent there,

This year I am proud of:

Publishing a book
Marriage strengthening our relationship
finally learning to just stop and relax sometimes
painting again

I hope 2015 turns out to be better and I can inally pass my damned driving test!